• Kalysta@lemm.ee
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    Wouldn’t it have been nice to get Bernie’s medicare for all, with vision and dental coverage, so people fresh out of college with their likely first real job don’t need to ask their shitty ass parents for help?

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      It would be nice if boomers and older Gen Xers would stop cashing out and then blaming millennials and zennials for the inflation being out of control and the economy not being the monolith it was in the 1980’s. You know, the 80’s during which that little tech boom thing happened right around the time a famous actor got elected president and immediately started de-regulating everything under the sun so that huge corporations could start squeezing employees and consumers like the chattel they are, thereby inflating the value of goods, services, and land.

  • houstoneulers@lemmy.world
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    Sad b/c teachers really don’t get rewarded monetarily enough, and OOP is acting like that’s some kinda lucrative career that would provide enough even for that.

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    Dude this is like every post on the estranged parents sub on reddit… they really are oblivious to the fact that their kids have good reasons to hate them

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    “no real kids”

    “no real bills”

    🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

    the fact that he added “real” to both means she has them but he somehow doesn’t consider them real, whatever the fuck that means. but this sounds like a total piece of shit and i feel sorry for the 24 year old.

    nothing like ruining the economy and the future for the next generation and then refusing to help.

    • Showroom7561@lemmy.ca
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      I think everyone is misunderstanding the “kids” part.

      The daughter is a teacher, meaning she has “kids” (i.e. in her classroom), but not “real kids”, as in, kids of her own. A strange way of saying it, but I’m sure that’s what she meant.

      The no real bills part… that could mean anything. If she’s living with her folks and doesn’t have to pay rent, utilities, etc., then I can understand how a request like that could be taken poorly by the mother.

      Still, posting it on social media is Karen-like behaviour.

    • Ostrakon@lemmy.world
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      I’m guessing the kids comment was about pets. ‘No real bills’ I’m guessing she still lives at home and pays some token amount towards rent/utilities.

      We can speculate all we like, but I could see this going either way, and I’d be frustrated if my 24 year old couldn’t support themselves too.

      • Eiri@lemmy.ca
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        I mean she’s a teacher. A very hard job with lots of unpaid work that often offers downright sad wages.

        Being unable to support oneself despite a full-time job is a more and more common thing in our world.

      • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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        My cousin is a coparent in a polycule of 3, but she is not the biological parent of their children, she is the default parent though, as she is a SAHM and the other parents work. They’ve been together for 23 years.

        Half my family acts like she doesn’t have any children, and that she’s some sad single live in nanny. They will ask her how her “room mates and their kids” are going, even if the “room mate” is standing next to her with his hand on her arse and has just finished telling a story about how in love they are.

        My dad is also thinks I have “no real bills” because I don’t have a mortgage. He says rent isn’t a real bill because it’s not like the bank will take my house if I don’t pay. History opinion on evictions is “that not the same, because you can get a new place to rent that night, you can’t buy a new house in a day”

        My rent is 6x more than his mortgage and I don’t know anyone who could get approved for a rental the same day they get evicted for not paying rent, but sure dad, I’m rolling in expendable income over here.

        Some families are weird about denying how their relatives live.

        But it could also be that she calls her cat “her baby” and lives at home with only personal bills.

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        I’d expect ‘no real bills’ to include rent for their own apartment (because the parent doesn’t get how much it costs nowadays), but no car bills for example.

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        i feel like if he’s frustrated about his kid and she only has pets he’d just say no kids. but people are weird with animals so who knows.

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      “Can you describe the nature of the unrealness of these bills, as its own thing and not as the absence of something else?”

      Just thought the dissection of that particular “weasel word” might help someone out there at some point.

      “Brandy made in Germany isn’t “real” cognac. The nature of the unrealness is that it was made in Germany and not the cognac region of France.”

      You may disagree but my point here is, right or wrong, you can always describe the nature of the unrealness, unless its being used as a cheap, underhanded rhetorical device.

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    Someone tell them “i think i raised an entitled shit” isn’t the pwn they think it is

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    24 y/o with a teaching job.

    No real income is what she has. Probably on top of a shitton student debt.

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      “no real bills” I’d believe…if the parent said she lived at home (no rent, and food provided), was on parents’ insurance (health, auto, etc.), had no student debt, and was walking distance to work.

      But given that her parent didn’t, I’d guess that isn’t the case. Turns out rent, food, transportation, and like you said, student debt, are all…what’s the word…real bills?

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        To a lot of people “serious bills” means credit card debt for shit they didn’t need.

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      By the description it sounds like she lives at home? Teachers start most places at $40k+ a year. If she doesn’t have any bills and she’s 24 and no longer wants to wear glasses or contacts, yeah. That’s on her.

      *Edit: Some of you disagree with my remarks about most teachers starting at over $40k. So in a below comment I provided facts and sources. The “teachers start most places at $40k+” is spot on.

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        Where are teachers starting at $40,000? That was 10 year salary in most of the US not even 5 years ago. My brother, his wife, and one of my sisters all started at ≈$24,000 a year, and they still had to supply their classrooms with basic supplies. They all got into teaching at completely different points over the last 19 years. One in '05, one in '12, and the last in '16 and they all started at ≈$24,000 a year. This was in Indiana, Georgia, and Virginia.

        • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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          Straight from the National Education Association website.. This is a .org pro teacher and pro education website that is actively trying to increase teacher pay.

          The National average for NEW teachers is $44,530. 28 percent of districts that staff a total of 300,000 teachers start at below $40,000. However, 23 percent of districts start at over $50,000, and those districts staff a total of 1,300,000 teachers. So over four times more teachers start over $50k, compared to the under $40k crowd.

          Furthermore, Montana and Missouri have the lowest average starting teacher salaries and they are still at $34,500 and $36,800. So even if you’re in the dead last worst off state in the country, you’re still average new teacher salary is about $35,000.

          So your numbers you have are a far, far, cry from reality for all but the lowest paid teachers in the lowest paid areas and are like a decade back from today’s rates.

          As a completely superficial note, my friend just got her first full time teaching job for grade school and is in the 2nd lowest paying state for new teachers in the country; Missouri. Her starting salary is $51,000.

          So if you want to have any argument or discussion about my original statement for teacher salaries being incorrect, do as I have and back it up with facts and sources.

            • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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              Them and everyone else. Why unions are finally on the rise again. The idiots have stopped being brainwashed by the ultra wealthy telling them unions are bad.

      • Kalysta@lemm.ee
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        Spoken like someone who doesn’t have student debt. Or understand it at all.

  • Dkarma@lemmy.world
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    This pervasive selfishness in older generations sickens and astounds me.

    Imagine not wanting to give your kids everything.

    I would forego food if I had to in order to help my kids see better.

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      I would forego food to make sure my kids had glasses or contacts, sure.

      I would not forego food so they could have elective surgery.

        • Maalus@lemmy.world
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          LASIK isn’t some great cure. It has potential side effects and you can end up seeing worse than you did before.

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            I know I’m just one person, but it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I was almost legally blind without glasses/contacts, and just the stress of making sure my glasses prescription was up to date once I switched to contacts, making sure I packed glasses, contacts, extra contacts, solution, etc, for a trip, and losing 1 contact while at the store or something was instantly erased.

            I could read the street signs on the highway on the way home from the surgery. I hadn’t been able to do that unaided since I was probably 10.

            Do I need readers now that I’m older? Yep, just like they told me I would because everyone does because it’s a different issue that comes with aging. I wish they had a similar treatment for Presbyopia!!!

            Sure, everyone’s experience is different, but it almost was akin to a miracle for me. Life changing for sure.

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              And on the other side of the spectrum my friend was at -10, got it done and has been complaining for the past 15 years or more. He can barely drive at night now and it hasn’t fixed all his issues so he still needs glasses and has needed them since the operation (just not as much for his myopia) so he’s not saving any money

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                I’m not doubting at all that there are cases like this and I’m terribly sorry for your friend. I only wanted to present a different perspective for those considering having the procedure. It’s definitely not a decision that should be made lightly.

                • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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                  Was 100% functional with glasses now not functional at night with or without glasses, dry eyes, still needs glasses

          • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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            Every procedure has that risk, even a routine vaccination or stitches, strange reason to pay for glasses and contacts forever.

            There are people who legitimately can’t get the surgery, but that’s obviously not who’s being discussed here.

            What’s the ratio on people being worse of for vision after? Cant make a claim like that and not provide some data.

            Glasses and contacts also don’t fix the issue and can lead to worse vision too, so arguably that’s non-factor in a discussion like this anyways.

            LASIK is the only chance to have a permanent fix. It’s a very important factor to consider, above and beyond the complications, that are also applicable to the glasses and contacts. I’ve not heard of many people’s vision getting better by their continual use.

            • Maalus@lemmy.world
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              No, what you are comparing to is a one in a million. Lasik has a rather large complication rate with doctors lying about it and using “satisfaction rate” instead of actually counting complications. Basically people think “it’s worth it to have these problems”. But issues like dry eye, halos, glare, shitty night vision are extremely common. They’ll tell you shit like “serious complications are at 1%” when what they mean is 1% go basically blind - or unable to do daily activities like driving at night.

              https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/lasik/lasik-quality-life-collaboration-project

              46% of participants who didn’t have visual problems before lasik, said they have at least one 3 months after the surgery. 30% had dry eye issues. Those aren’t vaccine numbers.

              • spittingimage@lemmy.world
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                with doctors lying about it

                The last person I spoke with who used those words was trying to convince me she could cure cancer with electricity.

              • Trail@lemmy.world
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                Three months after surgery is too early for such a conclusion. It is expected that you still have dry eyes and stuff like that for a larger period of time, around 6 months or so with daily eye drops. Your vision post surgery is also not 100% improved, and gets better for up to a year after, while your eyes and brain adjust.

                Source: my wife had it. Certainly worth it. Your link is not very relevant.

              • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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                In October 2009, the FDA, the National Eye Institute (NEI), and the Department of Defense (DoD) launched the LASIK Quality of Life Collaboration Project (LQOLCP) to better understand the potential risk of severe problems that can result from LASIK. The project’s goal was to develop a tool for determining the percent of patients who develop difficulties performing usual activities following LASIK, and to identify predictors for those patients.

                The technology is leaps and bounds better than it was 15 years ago, got anything modern?

                And the risk of your eyes getting worse with glasses and contacts is worse than that, your eyes can’t get better without mechanical intervention, and glasses WILL deteriorate your vision further. It’s 100% with glasses and contacts.

                • sudneo@lemm.ee
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                  glasses WILL deteriorate your vision further. It’s 100% with glasses and contacts.

                  Do you have anything to share on this? I am asking because I remember I specifically asked my eye doctor this question, and he said no. (I asked something like if there is any downside in wearing glasses always vs only when needed e.g., reading, watching TV etc.).

                  I am also wearing the same glasses for almost 13 years now.

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          Really it’s the upfront cost. Over the last 20 years I can say confidently that I have not spent more on corrective lenses than I would have on LASIK, but I’m getting close. I had it priced out last year and it’s about $4500 for the procedure. I’m at a point in my life where I would feel comfortable taking on those payments now. I know growing up there was zero chance my parents could have made it happen for me, it we would have all been starving.

          • Bob Robertson IX@lemmy.world
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            I kept putting it off… I wanted it when I was 20 but couldn’t afford it. I still wanted it at 30, but didn’t want to spend the money. At 40 I finally had more than enough in my HSA to cover my annual deductable, so I scheduled it. And I’ve LOVED it! However, around 45 I noticed that my near sight isn’t as good as it has been. Now at 48 I’m realizing that I’ll soon need reading glasses.

            I still think it was worth it… but I REALLY wish I had done it in my 20s so I could have enjoyed going glasses free for all those years.

            • BassTurd@lemmy.world
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              It’s on my shortlist of things to do and has always been a goal since my teenage years. I’m tired of dealing with lenses.

            • proudblond@lemmy.world
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              I mean, that’s a pretty good run. I’ve never had to wear glasses but now at 41 I need readers when my eyes are tired, and when they’re not they’re working harder for clarity than they ever had to before. I said something to my dad about it a couple years ago as I was first noticing the change and he said, “How old are you? Ah yeah, that’s about the age.” (Yes my dad had to check how old I was. 🙄)

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            My prescription changes all the time. There’s NO WAY I want to get lasik and end up wearing glasses in a year.

            Fuck that.

        • ohwhatfollyisman@lemmy.world
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          LASIK procedures are “permanent”, at best, till the patient’s mid-40s. one source.

          Pay once or pay multiple times a year?

          no glasses wearers pay “multiple times a year” for new spectacles and lenses. the frequency does go up to once in two years or once a year after the mid-40s because of presbyopia, but that expense would be incurred anyway whether one gets a LASIK procedure done or not.

          • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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            Lasik generally comes with a 20 year warranty. Glasses and contacts come with none. Do you work for a pharmaceutical company? You certainly seem to be shilling temporary treatments rather than even semi permanent cures.

            I’m also in my 40s and would rather pay for a solution that will last till my 60s rather than get glasses every year for 20 years. Lasik is just cheaper in the long run, and the fact that you call it elective would be hilarious, if you weren’t being so conservative.

            Embrace modern medicine.

            • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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              The 20 year warranty on Lasik doesn’t guarantee a lifetime of normal vision. The surgery can neither correct nor prevent presbyopia, the most common form of age-related far-sightedness. This reduction in vision is caused by a hardening and loss of flexibility in the lens as well as a weakening of the muscles used for focusing.

              • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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                The link buddy shared above that started this entire discussion says lasik is a solution to presbyopia….

                If you are an older adult considering LASIK, you might choose to have monovision to maintain your ability to see objects close up. With monovision, one eye is corrected for distant vision, and the other eye is corrected for near vision. Not everyone is able to adjust to or tolerate monovision. It’s best to do a trial with contact lenses before having a permanent surgical procedure.

                Why are you saying the exact opposite of what was linked? Got a source to back this claim up?

          • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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            From your own link?

            LASIK eye surgery may mean no more corrective lenses. But it’s not right for everybody. Learn whether you’re a good candidate and what to consider as you weigh your decision.

            And maybe read the information on the over 40, it says laser is a solution to that, it says nothing about it still happening with laser, I think you are conflating issues.

            • ohwhatfollyisman@lemmy.world
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              do take the time to read the full article. particularly the section titled “LASIK vs. Reading Glasses”.

              separately, my cohorts and I are in the mid-40s and have undergone LASIK evaluation. the unanimous consensus given each of us is that we will have to undergo the procedure again and again as our eyes age. that we will have to fall back on glasses.

              i speak from personal experience on this topic.

              • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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                Yes there is people for who it can’t permanently fix their vision, that doesn’t mean it’s not possible for others dude.

                • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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                  Presbyopia is the age-related hardening of the lens and weakening of the muscles used for focusing. The process is progressive and irreversible. Lasik is not a good option for people with presbyopia and any surgeon recommending it is not acting in your best interest as a patient. You should probably seek a second opinion!

        • vala@lemmy.world
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          You can get glasses for like $20 online. The ones at the optometrist are expensive because of insurance.

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        An elective surgery you call it, an investment in their vision, I call it. Not everyone has vision as part of their insurance, and contacts/glasses/exams can get expensive without (or even with, depending on the policy). Viewed in that way, LASIK can definitely be seen as an investment.

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          I mean, lasik comes with issues down the road if you go for the cheaper procedures, and even the good ones if you have complications.

          If the question is money, adding risk is often not the wisest of decisions…

          • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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            The same can be said for glasses and contacts too. So you have a pay once and done, or a pay forever with the same potential issues. Very few people’s vision ever get better from continual glass contact use, but it can get better permanently from lasik.

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        It’s not like she’s asking for breast implants or liposuction(or something else that is not reconstructive in nature). It’s lasik, and it’ll help her quality of life, no more worrying about breaking her glasses or losing contacts.

        We dont know if she works in special ed where getting hit in the face could be a normal occurance for her. Maybe she struggles with contacts. Either way there are a lot of reasons for someone to want to go that route.

        Also, comparing lasik to something like nonreconstructive cosmetic surgery is disingenuous. One is completely for aesthetics, the other affects function.

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        Would you forego getting a 3rd car or building an addition on your home or half of your yearly retirement investment so your kid wouldn’t have to spend too much money every few years on glasses?

        That is the biggest chance of what actually would be the situation.

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      This isn’t a generational problem. It exists across all generations. Looks more like narcissism

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        Baby boomers were called “the me generation” by their predecessors before being called baby boomers. Sure, there are selfishness and narcissism at any period. But when everybody notices a trend, it’s hard to say they’re just like everyone else.

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        Did you mean “isn’t a generational problem?”

        The rest of the comment makes more sense to me that way, but as is written, I’m not certain what you are trying to say.

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      I believe it’s because they’re all brain damaged due to lead poisoning from leaded gasoline that was widely used in their formative years.

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      I believe it’s because they’re all brain damaged due to lead poisoning from leaded gasoline that was widely used in their formative years.

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        Yep! You just get a prescription from the eye doctor and enter the values on the site. 20 bucks later and boom you have some very reliable and inexpensive glasses. I’ve been using these guys for years and had basically zero issues.

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        Yep, also need your pupillary distance. i havent gotten an exam in so long i cant remember if thats included in the prescript. Luckily my eyesight hasnt gotten worse (yet).

        Wearing my 26 dollar photochromic zennis for this comment. Been using zenni glasses for the better part of a decade.

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          It’s not usually but you can print out the little gauge thing or use their in browser tool if you have a Webcam and don’t mind your face being scanned by a discount glasses company in the decade of machine learning we’re about to go through

      • PancakeBrock@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        I got a pair of prescription glasses and sun glasses from Payne glasses for $80. I stopped wearing contacts a few years ago, and I work outside. I really missed having sun glasses.

    • Showroom7561@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      From what I remember, $20 gets you a premium pair! I was getting glasses from Zenni and others for <$10.

      If the daughter is looking at Lasik, it’s not out of necessity.

  • fatboy93@lemm.ee
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    3 days ago

    The fuck does no real bills mean? Does eating, rent and gas/insurance not count as real bill?

  • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I wonder if this lady will ever realize the politicians she votes for (come on, we know which party) are why her daughter with one of the most importsnt jobs in the entire world can’t afford to see. Probably not.

  • chrislowles@lemm.ee
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    3 days ago

    “No one has audacity like the people you raised” proceeds to post about it to potentially millions of people, you know like people without audacity do.

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    2 days ago

    Am I the only one who lives with their parent and helps paying bills? I am asking, because some people seem to be surprised that my father forces me to pay for the living in his house, but the truth is I don’t mind that, and I’d rather not be a freeloader.

    • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      If your parents want you to pay rent, while at the same time complaining that you still live with them(which is often the situation), they can charitably be called dumbfucks.

      • IMongoose@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I really subscribe to the idea of the kid helping on bills + a little extra and the parent saving as much as they financially can of that into an account and giving it to their kid as a moving away gift.

        But yes, I think you are more talking about having the kid pay market price to live at home which is fucked.

      • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        I understand the need to privacy as people get older, but if my kids want to stay with me for a long period of their life, I will be pleased to have them with me as long as they like.

    • Showroom7561@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      I mean, if you’re an adult with an income and living with anyone else (parents, roommate, etc.), you really should be helping with the upkeep of the place and bills. As well as paying for your own food, phone bill, etc.

      “Forcing you to pay” sounds harsh without context. You’d have to pay rent to live anywhere else, right? Perhaps, “expected to pay” seems more logical… assuming you’re an adult with an income.

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      It’s situational, but you’re not the only one.

      I lived with my dad for many years because he slowly lost the ability to take care of himself. My brother and I were there to handle whatever he needed and since I was working full time, I’d cover bills when it was required, either because he forgot or because he was struggling.

      We eventually made the decision to have him moved to a care facility where he could get the care he needed, and far better care than we could hope to provide. He’s passed on now, but it happens. That was a crazy time in my life. Now I live independently.

      For the record, I’m over 40 now, and I’m the youngest of his children. He died a few years back at this point.

    • Coriza@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I think It is fair that the members of a family, that are a community living together or not, all share in the burdens of life so it is easier for everyone. But if the parents are like forcing you to pay rent, then I would just live somewhere else.

      Put in another way. It is fine if you have an adult children to say “hey, help out anyway you can so it is easier to everyone” and if they cannot figure out how to do that or they are like stuck and not progressing in life then instead of an ultimatum of “pay rent” better is a “I think you need the experience of living on your own”. Again I am all for money staying in the family and much prefer that or even better they saving money to buy a place than paying rent to some shitty landlord. But anyway.