WASHINGTON—Shedding light on the enduring appeal behind assault rifle ownership, a Pew study released Monday revealed that more Americans were buying AR-15s to defend themselves from toddlers who found their guns. “Many Americans stressed that they felt safer knowing they had an AR-15 at the ready in case their toddler stumbled across a shoebox holding a loaded gun on the floor of a closet and started firing away,” said researcher Jonathan Lieu, noting that the majority of AR-15 owners told his team they purchased the lightweight rifle due to their recurring fears about waking in the night to their 2-year-old giggling as they shot bullet holes through the bedroom door. “One response we often heard was that it was a Second Amendment right for gun owners to defend themselves against their own young children. They also stressed that a baseball bat or pepper spray simply wasn’t enough firepower to take down their gun-toting kids.” Lieu added that many Americans also rushed out to purchase tear gas grenades after their children inevitably got their hands on the AR-15s.
No one can tell this is The Onion before the last 5 words, and even then your brain has to think twice.
Best headline I’ve seen from them in a while!
The only way to stop a bad toddler with a gun is a good adult with an even bigger gun.
I have always found it a bit bizarre how some Americans will proudly advertise the fact they have loads of very expensive things in their house.
If I had a gun collection, and I live in a rural area with a lot of hunters so I assume plenty of my (European) neighbours do, I’d keep it quiet.
Why doesn’t the adult simply eat the toddler
How stupid must you be to do that. Everybody knows that an AR-45 takes way too long to reload and can only hold 20 charges. You’re way better with a Beretta 46 pistol or even a Colt. You will shoot much faster and the 19mm bullets can easily penetrate their soft skull. Plus toddlers usually dont aim very well so you should be fine anyway.
Honestly, just get them with a preemptive strike, the morons don’t even see it coming.