I’m done with the bars and their drunks, and the apps with the spying, out of school, and don’t date coworkers, the advice given to me every time I complain about the fact that there are no other “third places” to meet women romantically 100% of the time is “get a hobby.” Well, see above. There is no place, women do not want to be talked to anywhere but the bar or apps which ime have been bad places to find long-term companionship.
Can we do something about this? Can we maybe start “bars” where the focus isn’t alcohol but it is socially acceptable to say “hey I think you’re cute wanna go get some damn coffee?”
I love tabletop gaming but unless it’s a very large very active group that meets frequently, it’s not a great choice for meeting people for dating purposes. (It is great for making friends, though).
Even when it is a large group, there are better choices, in my experience.
Better ways, IMHO: Volunteering, joining a large church, joining a coed sports league, or joining a large music ensemble (choirs in particular are great).
But you still need to use common sense. To meet available people, you need to go where the available people are. If you volunteer to deliver meals to the elderly, that’s truly wonderful, but you probably won’t meet the person of your dreams doing that.
Volunteering maybe. Church is crazy, you want me to join a whole ass religion just to meet a woman and then what, pretend to be christian for the rest of my life?! I’d sooner go back to the drink! Sports I’m not really into, and everyone keeps saying “don’t just do it to meet women” but like, that’s exactly what I’d be doing. Idk maybe like ping pong or something but idt we have a local ping pong league near me, I’ll look. Choirs are very churchy are they not? That’d be the same as either sports or church in either case, depending.
Yes, “where are the people” is essentially my question. Some insist “literally everywhere, just do the thing and let em complain, fuck em” which seems to be the leading suggestion. Another dude said his area has singles hikes and shit so I’m gonna check that out too if my area does.
There are plenty of non-church choirs and music groups. That is, if you live in a decent-sized city. If you have some musical ability, it’s a great way to mingle.
Community theater and improv groups are other possibilities. Sometimes they are looking for volunteers to do a variety of jobs. It’s not all about performing.
I wasn’t suggesting you fake being religious just to attend a church. I’m an atheist myself, but I was raised in the church. The only things I miss about it are the socializing and some of the music. I thought if you were already religious, you could find a larger church. (I got flirted with a lot in church.)
And I’ll point out that some religions like Bhudism and New Age spiritualism can be more like philosophy than religion, depending on the group. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with attending out of curiosity. They expect a few “seekers” to visit.
There are also things like adult education. Cooking classes, dance classes, and the like. Also book reading clubs. Not ideal, but better than sitting at home.
Good luck. I know it’s highly challenging in these cynical times we live in.
I’m done with the bars and their drunks, and the apps with the spying, out of school, and don’t date coworkers, the advice given to me every time I complain about the fact that there are no other “third places” to meet women romantically 100% of the time is “get a hobby.” Well, see above. There is no place, women do not want to be talked to anywhere but the bar or apps which ime have been bad places to find long-term companionship.
Can we do something about this? Can we maybe start “bars” where the focus isn’t alcohol but it is socially acceptable to say “hey I think you’re cute wanna go get some damn coffee?”
I love tabletop gaming but unless it’s a very large very active group that meets frequently, it’s not a great choice for meeting people for dating purposes. (It is great for making friends, though).
Even when it is a large group, there are better choices, in my experience.
Better ways, IMHO: Volunteering, joining a large church, joining a coed sports league, or joining a large music ensemble (choirs in particular are great).
But you still need to use common sense. To meet available people, you need to go where the available people are. If you volunteer to deliver meals to the elderly, that’s truly wonderful, but you probably won’t meet the person of your dreams doing that.
Volunteering maybe. Church is crazy, you want me to join a whole ass religion just to meet a woman and then what, pretend to be christian for the rest of my life?! I’d sooner go back to the drink! Sports I’m not really into, and everyone keeps saying “don’t just do it to meet women” but like, that’s exactly what I’d be doing. Idk maybe like ping pong or something but idt we have a local ping pong league near me, I’ll look. Choirs are very churchy are they not? That’d be the same as either sports or church in either case, depending.
Yes, “where are the people” is essentially my question. Some insist “literally everywhere, just do the thing and let em complain, fuck em” which seems to be the leading suggestion. Another dude said his area has singles hikes and shit so I’m gonna check that out too if my area does.
There are plenty of non-church choirs and music groups. That is, if you live in a decent-sized city. If you have some musical ability, it’s a great way to mingle.
Community theater and improv groups are other possibilities. Sometimes they are looking for volunteers to do a variety of jobs. It’s not all about performing.
I wasn’t suggesting you fake being religious just to attend a church. I’m an atheist myself, but I was raised in the church. The only things I miss about it are the socializing and some of the music. I thought if you were already religious, you could find a larger church. (I got flirted with a lot in church.)
And I’ll point out that some religions like Bhudism and New Age spiritualism can be more like philosophy than religion, depending on the group. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with attending out of curiosity. They expect a few “seekers” to visit.
There are also things like adult education. Cooking classes, dance classes, and the like. Also book reading clubs. Not ideal, but better than sitting at home.
Good luck. I know it’s highly challenging in these cynical times we live in.
Book clubs might be good, and tbh I could probably use cooking classes lol.
Thanks! Seems I need the luck lol.