It can often be how you go about it. If you just dive in and start talking to them, even if well intentioned and you literally do just want to talk to someone new about whatever, because of all those past experiences of guys only trying to do that to get with them, they’ll see you as probably just another one of those creepos.

It’s a dance, and it’s an annoying one at times for sure, and it takes practice. If you can recall the last time you tried to strike up a conversation, or next time it happens, afterwards, really stop and think about it from the other person’s perspective. If you know a woman you trust, try asking her to go over the whole interaction with you.

In college I was a major incel neckbeard loser and truly was the epitome of the green text above. I’m not proud of it. I took a chance and asked a few women I knew why I kept being single and lonely and if they could advise. They did exactly that for me. Took me through some of my interactions, explained where I went wrong, and helped me reframe my thoughts. I now am pretty much always able to strike up a conversation wherever I’m at.

TL:DR - find someone you trust to walk you through the why. You got this