Ultimately the best way to meet people, and especially to grow and maintain those connections, is to have the same hobbies as them.

Do you like sports? Join an adult league.
Do you like reading? Join a book club. Do you like tabletop games? Use Reddit’s r/LFG, or look for a local meetup group, and find some people there.

Ultimately it’s hard to make new friends when you have nothing to tie you to them long term.

People have set routines, and it can be difficult to have them make time for a stranger initially.

But if you join group doing something you enjoy, you already a part of their lives through that. You also have an easy source of conversation, talking about whatever your joint interest is.

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It’s the highest voted comment in his original post.

If she initiated these new things, then I think you’re right that she thinks you like them, and doesn’t want to lose you over her not being willing to do them.

First, get things straight in your own head about would you like to have done any of those things with her if you had not seen the video?

Then, once you have an idea about what you like or don’t, tell her something like “hey, while (the things you like) I do like and would like to keep doing, if it’s ok with you, (the things you don’t like) were her idea, and I don’t want you to feel like it’s something we have to do together because it’s not something I particularly enjoy. I much prefer (doing this thing you two did together, that your ex didn’t do).” Even if that thing is just holding hands after or something like that, not necessarily kinky.

The main thing to remember is that you’re her first, so she has no frame of reference to compare you too, whereas you have an ex that she’s worried she’s being compared to.

So just let her know that your happy with how the relationship is, and exactly what you said at the end of your post, that you want to grow together and view this as the relationship of not just your present, but far in the future as well, so she shouldn’t have any concerns.