I automatically read that sentence in AoStH Robotnik’s voice. I don’t know if he ever even said that, he’s just the ultimate example of the Card-Carrying Villain in my mind.

I think the absurdity is part of the joke, but you sound like me in that you enjoy your fiction in an incredibly literal way. I remember being into cartoons as a kid and needing grounded explanations for everything even though the characters’ lives essentially reset every 30 minutes.

OK, there are a few things the internet wouldn’t let me forget.

How did I know she was from The Super Mario Super Show before reading the text? I have almost no memory of that show.

I feel ya. I very rarely replace my devices and the internet speeds suck where I live anyway, so 720p is my go-to.

In my brain 720 is standard and 1080 is fancy, until I watch something at a friend’s house and sometimes it looks so good it’s unsettling

Oh shit, I didn’t even think about that. What the hell.

This sucks for so many. People use timestamps for content warnings or to help viewers avoid spoilers. Commenters use timestamps when talking about the content of the video. It’s insane to change this once it’s so ingrained in how people use the website.

TIL how many potato-related words I can think of

Reddit is so useless. I write occasionally, and whenever I hit a wall researching a character’s background, everyone tells me, “ask on Reddit!”

I stopped asking on Reddit five years ago, because I can’t get any feedback besides a handful teenagers making wild guesses. Thank you for trying, kids. I guess.

The child is someone who doesn’t have a financial stake in what the tree is used for. It’s narrative shorthand for innocence, but it doesn’t mean “only children think this way”.

Otherwise it wouldn’t be encouraging the readers, presumably adults, to think that way, because it would be impossible.

I don’t know where this wiki got the name Sonja for her, let alone the word sexy.

Nah, this entire thing is about US control. They’re upset that it’s a different government that’s spying on us this time. No sympathy for TikTok but there’s no good way to spin this.

Btw, you know if TikTok sells to a US company, they’ll be just as rancid, right?

Ugh, this is a shame. I loved the translucent consoles and controllers Nintendo did back in the day. This makes me want to learn 3D printing so I can make an atomic purple casing and not make the screws too tight.

This is actually a huge meme in the Bionicle fandom. Shame too as the parts aren’t being manufactured anymore, so eventually we’ll run out of transparent green shoulder joints.

I can imagine myself downloading that while high and paranoid and losing my mind.

Yeah, I know I was exaggerating. I’m just constantly pissed at stuff I swore I removed from my PC

MS Paint, an old clip art CD, and notepad. It’s time to make some unbearable personal websites

Eh fair, to me that’s just severely outweighed by the bloatware and needing third party apps to customize the UI how I used to like. It feels uglier and bulkier and like they took away a ton of good functions.

Have Windows users ever wanted a single thing they added since XP? It seems like every time I upgrade they add some cluttery nonsense I can’t get rid of. I moved to Windows 10 for software compatibility, and I still hate it.

Paper Mario for the N64 and Super Mario World for the SNES. I think it’s because I found them both at the perfect point in my childhood where they were the first games in their genres I managed to beat.

I had a blast finding every single exit and bonus stage in SMW, and Paper Mario was the first RPG that didn’t make my eyes glaze over (including Super Mario RPG). Plus the characters and aesthetics are still so charming, the whole game gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.