AutomatedPossum [she/her]

a third of the users are cishet

damn i need that trans cactus

Ok, i get it now and i largely agree that a certain “do i want her or do i want to be her” mood is extremely common among cis women as well, and i particularly agree that transness isn’t something to be diagnosed in the first place. I also think that both of these arguments are among the many, many good reasons to discard the term AGP in its entirity. I just read the quoted part as you actually arguing within AGP discourse, the way it’s worded is just a bit ambiguous.

hot take but I think being “agp” is not bad or pathological any more than being trans is.

Maybe we can just leave this AGP shit out of conversations about trans women entirely. Nothing is gained from using a harmful, completely fucked, brainwormed gatekeeping term and applying it to normal human behavior.

Blanchard is a quack, his ideas could never be backed up with any clinical evidence, there is nothing that indicates a meaningful difference in the transness of straight and lesbian trans women and bisexuals or asexuals do not even exist in his model. The entire concept is a lesbophobic gatekeeping plot by a horny chaser bastard and if you come across a psychologist that still believes this, it’s a good reason for trans women never to be alone in the same room with him when the door is closed. I’m unfortunately not joking, the last remaining Blanchardian in my state is a massive sex pest. These are the kinds of people we’re talking about.

But let’s assume for a moment they are correct and liking girls makes me a confused fetishistic man. Given that the women i date are all transbians as well, that would make all of us gay men. Which would in turn make all of us HSTS. Which would then make all of us lesbian. Which …

You see how none of this crap makes any sense at all?

I think the best solution is if you two break up and your GF joins a revolutionary catgirl polycule.

She would honk lightly to ask for the headpats

Is it agender tho if you change ur body via sex hormones

Yeah, it’s best to follow Feinberg Thought and clearly seperate biology, gender as a social performance and gender identity as an internal, psychological structure. How you feel in your body and how and if you transition is independent from your gender identity. There can be an interaction between these, like things that give me dysphoria feel clearly incongruent from how i feel my body should be, they violate my sense of self - but i wasn’t less of a woman when i could still grow a beard or before my boobs started growing, and getting bottom surgery will not make me more of a woman, it will just mean that i get rid of things that feel like foreign objects and cause me psychic damage. But that doesn’t say anything about my gender identiy, people with a more binary understanding of gender do the same things as me when it comes to transitioning and people who would not use the term woman for themselves also do.

You’re definitely not alone with this. I hear takes like yours a lot from neurodivergent trans people and many of them specifically go for the agender label because it’s what makes the most sense to them.

It’s not how i view this stuff, i could write an entire effortpost about what being a lesbian means to me or how i’m both nonbinary and a trans woman, or how meaningless bodies are in regards to gender once you’ve had decidedly lesbian sex with a pre-transition trans woman who’s more feminine than every cis woman i’ve ever been with, but i don’t have the time for that today and i think is a perfectly reasonable and valid approach to this whole gender stuff, and i’m not gonna debate that.

they’re eggsperts on this matter

This can work on people with average levels of residual transphobia and it never hurts (and isn’t particularly hard, either) to be better at biology than terfs, it’s absolutely useful to have examples like this on hand. It sucks that we need to be prepared to hold a ted talk justifying our existence at any moment, but that’s part of being trans in a cisfascist culture. It’s a survival skill to be able to spit the straight facts about all this gender stuff. But keep in mind that the hardcore transphobes are perfectly willing to throw cis women with inter traits under the bus. Like, Janice Raymond literally thinks that women with XY chromosomes and androgen insensitivity who’ve been assigned female at birth and lived their entire lives as women and are 100% settled in their gender identity and repeatedly had normal pregnancies and have given birth to perfectly healthy babies are actually men entirely because of the Y chromosome. She’s absolutely willing to die on that hill, and she’s not alone in that.

If these people have ever been feminists in the first place, they’ve switched to being single-issue white whale chasing obsessive nazi sympathizers a long time ago, and they do not know any actual solidarity with other women, they’re single mindedly about attacking trans people and if that means somebody who isn’t trans gets caught in the crossfire, they absolutely dgaf. If one of their own hatemob members doesn’t pass the gender AI face test to get into their special treehouse, it doesn’t matter if she contacts customer service 30 times over this, they let her rot (yes that is an actual example from Giggle). The cruelty is the point, do not expect to get a gotcha on somebody with terminal transphobic brainrot.

I honestly recommend to not waste your time arguing with terfs, spend it on building communities, spend it on educating cis people willing to listen, spend it on having t4t sex in the bathroom stalls of lesbian dive bars or on voice training or on playing FONV, all of that is time better spent than growing callousses on your soul from online yelling contests with the world’s most fascist Harry Potter fangirls.