Canopyflyer

Not Allomancy? Being a full Mistborn would be cool, but I’d take being a coin shot.

Hemalurgy is right out of course. Really don’t want spikes sticking in me anywhere.

It was the Halloween boogie 1999 at Skydive Greene County in Xenia, OH. We were jumping a CASA 212’ which at the time was the largest jump ship in the US. It was Sunday morning, first load of the day and I was sitting up by the cockpit. The previous night was filled by a party and a ton of beer.

At about 9000 feet my bowels started rumbling, at 10k I released. All 30 people on the plane started gagging. The pilots opened the rear door to air out the cabin. As any pilot will tell you, a fart at altitude is a dangerous thing.

The Drop Zone Owner warned us that if he catches the culprit, that person would receive a permanent ban from the DZ.

I was suspected, as were a couple of people that had been sitting near me, as that part of the plane is where the smell was most intense. But no one fessed up.

I jumped there for another 7 years.

Do you think it’s Oreseur, or Tensoon?

I lie about everything… Even this comment is a lie.

In all seriousness, I do enough misdirection that it would be difficult to figure out who I am. But not impossible. Once in a while I’ll post something that is completely out of character for me, just to throw off anyone that may actually know me.

Here is an example of why:

I have a former coworker fishing for me on Reddit and he is unaware that I no longer post on that site, or even have an account. A friend of mine clued me in to one of former coworker’s posts which mixed a bit of truth in with some massive delusional lies. So once in a while I’ll pull up his Reddit account to see if there is anything I need to send to my lawyer. Yeah, it’s one of those situations. The post I was originally made aware of made my lawyer giddy and he was disappointed that I declined to set him loose. Former Coworker is a narcissistic loser that lives credit card payment to credit card payment anyway. The best way to deal with a narcissist is with indifference.

So yeah, my posts are true to the point where identifiable information is needed. Then I mis-direct.

I get that this is the Internet.

But how about this one time, we all converse as adults.

How does that sound?

An adult response would have been:

“Virtually all European universities require a Masters to attain a PhD.”

This is Lemmy and not Reddit after all.

Someone should have told my wife’s program that.

But I can understand how that would happen.

Today she’s looking to stress cells in a lab to promote a mis-folded protein response that mimics how it happens in the body. At least that’s how far my IT guy understanding goes. She’s found herself running a BSL 3 lab working with nasty micro organisms and that is not her field. It’s just the path her research lead he down.

Where do you need a Masters to attain a PhD? Honest question, I just never heard of it before.

My wife attained her MD/PhD from the University of Chicago/Pritzker and does not have a Masters. She’s on the MD/PhD committee for her university and they do not require anything other than a BS in the field of study.

With that said, it probably isn’t much of a stretch to just get a Masters in the way to a PhD.

Me? I’m depriving some poor village of its idiot. I have a BS and that’s it.

I take special pleasure in pronouncing it “Sap”. It drives the sappy admins and devs nuts, but IDGAF. You want me to call it S.A.P.? Then get it to fucking work as it should. You dumb fucka are sure making enough for it to.

As a Certified Lotus PROFESSIONAL, I take extreme issue with your characterization of Lotus Notes/Domino.

It’s a huge steaming pile of dog shit and you’re being WAY too easy on it. Why insurance companies and Coca Cola used it extensively is beyond me. But my God did they love it for some reason.

I got a CLP simply because I worked for a managed services vendor at the time and they signed a huge contract with Coca Cola and they needed a Domino admin to help out with a migration. I think it was 4.6 to 5.5 if I recall correctly. Yeah, long time ago. I went on to do a lot of Domino related projects. Lousy certification that probably made me more money than any of the others I have held over the years.

I was on a 4-way and 8-way competitive team and we had sponsorship for most of the time we were together. When your training jumps are free, you do a lot of them. All of my winter vacations for years was to Florida or Arizona to jump.

As to what made me stop, the team finally disintegrated due to personality differences. It was fairly acrimonious and people whom I had been jumping along side for years, turned out to not be friends at all. I stopped competing and did other things. Got my PRO license and jumped into a few stadiums, a NASCAR race once, and more than one air show. I stopped doing those types of jumps, when an idiot from the FAA tried to tell us that our final turn to land had to be over 1000ft, which is insane and not safe. This was at an airshow and we were landing in an airport. He wouldn’t budge on it though, because he was just a god damn whuffo on a power trip. I made a normal turn to final, which was about 300 feet anyway. I decided that was the last time I was going to put my safety in the hands of someone that had no clue what they were talking about, even if I was making money at it.

Later at my home DZ, I landed after a pretty good fun jump and started gathering my main and just felt… Nothing. The jump went well, but it just didn’t mean a whole lot to me. I was apathetic. Add to that, I was dating the future Mrs CanopyFlyer and while she supported my jumping, she is no jumper. She’s never been on a plane smaller than a CRJ. Where I’ve jumped from Sport Planes, that are just one step up from an Ultralight. A lot of people have pointed to her as my reason for stopping, but really she is what kept me jumping that last year. It was just time to move on.

Would I jump again? I’m no longer capable of jumping as I injured my back two years ago. While I would not be paralyzed or anything like that, a hard opening would carry the risk of making the pain I deal with every day a whole lot worse. It’s hell to get old.

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20 miles.

I was backpacking in the Red River Gorge area of Kentucky. I was a LOT younger back then.

“CanopyFlyer” is a reference to my skydiving days.

I have a tad over 4500 skydives.

Even though my last jump was 18 years ago, I think I’d be pretty safe if someone threw me out a plane with a rig on.

It’s 16 steps down to my basement office.

I work from home and yes, it’s as great as you think. I’m 11 years till retirement and I will NEVER work in an office ever again.

My favorite calls are the ones that play a recording woman’s voice speaking Mandarin. They always come from the 312 area code as well.

Never understood those. My only guess it’s a service looking for active numbers and it logs it when it finds one.

Is that the view from the post surgery Cat Scan?

Fuck Joss Whedon and his misogynistic, narcissistic ego.

But I still will watch Firefly, and Avengers.

I will not, however, pay any attention any of his future work.

My Mother was a very stereo typical United States mid-west housewife cook. She could cook a protein, a vegetable, and a starch and get it on the table. Everything would mostly taste OK, but outside of salt, pepper, and the occasional herb, the flavors were all the same. She did do a couple of things pretty well. Her meatless lasagna was actually really good.

My Dad could cook pancakes and he did the grilling. That’s about it.

This is the way I’ve heard that one, probably just a mutation:

Don’t sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.

My Career:

1. Crappy retail management job for a long defunct retail electronics store.
2. Crappy retail management job for a long defunct toy store.
3. Crappy desk job as an inside sales agent for a computer supplier.
4. Hired onto the service/support side of computer supplier above and worked crappy Service Desk job for a few years. a. Used my down time at the SD to attain my MCSE, CCNA, Red Hat and CLP (Certified Lotus Professional for Lotus Notes 5 and above and no I don’t expect you to have heard of it) certifications. The company paid for me to take the tests, which was great.
5. Hired on the systems engineers department of said computer supplier, which had subsequently stopped being a supplier and strictly a Managed Services Vendor. It was also bought out by an extremely large German company that you’ve probably heard of.
6. Got my ITIL 1.0 certifications (Problem, Incident, Change, Service Delivery) and started working in processes rather than systems. I’m currently ITIL 4.0 certified.
7. Laid off from above company and worked a variety of contract jobs, mainly Major Incident response and the like, as I have a pretty wide skill set.

The above covers about the last 33 years of my career with 28 of it in IT.

I’d probably make more money if I refreshed some of my certifications, but working on the process side in really large environments means I’m not on call and I don’t deal with emergencies at 3am. I currently work for a very very large defense contractor that you definitely have heard of. My wife is a physician and works an on call schedule that can be brutal at times, so I’m happy to not be on call. I handle the kids, while she’s running off to the hospital saving some poor child.