Yes, life begins at inception. When the idea to have sex with someone blossoms in your mind, the resulting child now has a soul.

Holy shit, ordering the wrong batteries was the icing on the cake.

That tracks. Celebrity stuff usually annoys me, so I avoid news about it. There’s just been too many Swift Plane jokes to ignore lately.

Tony scratched his neck, his high visibility vest making him itchy again. He took off his bright yellow hardhat, and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

Now cradling his hardhat under one arm, and a clipboard in his hand, he sidled over to the rich prick. “Look, Enrique, I really need you to sign the…” He paused for a rattling rumble, as a dump truck disgorged another load of printer cartridges onto the front lawn. “…pink copy of the bill of lading. It confirms the delivery was made, and my drivers can get paid.”

Enrique sputtered, fuming. “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?“ He said, gesturing at the small hill nearly obscuring his mansion.

“Well…” Tony grunted. “ You better hope that some of these loads have magenta, otherwise these piles of cyan and yellow are totally useless.“

Is this inevitable for some people? Or is this what happens when it goes untreated?

OK the memes were funny at first, but is it starting to feel a little astroturfy in here? Like, is her telling everyone they need to vote actually that scary for establishment politics?

The private plane thing is definitely hypocritical, but we’re singling her out from every single celebrity that also does that. Maybe I don’t follow her story close enough to know why, but it seems like the only thing that makes her different from the other celebrities is that she made conservatives mad about voting, and young people like her?

I know y’all are joking, but seriously, what is going on here?

Wait, how big IS a football field?

I mean, as a bisexual, it’s a win win scenario.

McConnell hasn’t had a bowel movement in decades, so he lets Trump shit his pants for him.

No, it’s not as fun at noon, but I always do it anyway. That way the other guy can’t say “the sun was in my eyes” while he bleeds out. It really makes everything more legitimate.

What is Purebred, If it’s not just inbred with the paperwork to prove it?

The inbreading of pets really needs to stop. It’s causing all kinds of problems.

What the fuck even is this timeline?

This one is really dependent upon whose wedding it is. I know a couple people that would love this.

Thank you! You’ve answered a question I never really knew how to ask. I hope you have a really nice day.

Edit: Also threw an upvote towards AFKBRBChocolate. Credit to whom credit is due.

I don’t know if there is a specific word for it, but I think I know what you mean.

I was driving in traffic on a major interstate recently, and glanced out the window. I was struck by how many cars there were.

I kinda came to an overwhelming realization that each of these cars contained people with lives and hopes and dreams. They had all had years of life and memories leading up to them being behind the wheel in the car next to me. Most would have years to live in the future. There where cumulative millenia of experiences I’d never bear witness to.

I was just a small part, a single glance in their day; a day where they in turn would see thousands more.

Like stepping one too many times off the top of a dark staircase, there was an odd sense of… vertigo? Or, if you’re walking in murky water, and it drops off into sudden depth. There’s a short flash of panic at the sudden moreness of it, and you shake yourself, readjust, and go on with your day.

Maybe the phrase “existential crises” might apply somehow?

Depends. He is indestructible and, as far as I know, not a renowned chef. Cooking with ingredients that you actually put in food should be totally safe for him.

He might be able to find some kind of exotic alien substance that could cause some physical pain, but at that point, is he really cooking? Or just adding something painful to food?

Sidenote, he could probably find some kind of kryptonite that would disable his powers for a meal.

All beverages are now required to be Diet New Coke served exclusively in those tiny cardboard milk cartons.

-Metric system

-abolish penny

-abolish daylight savings time

-Every month is now five 6-day weeks (More orderly, no Monday)

-Last five days of every year (Six on leap years) Is now a New Year’s festival.

-move august and july to end of year (now September, October, November, December Correspond with their correctly numbered month)

Ads cannot interrupt content, can only be before or after each episode/movie