I need to log off but this place is my only source of news and by far my best outlet for both gender feelings and political rantings.
Fuck. I wasn’t always this compulsively online on here, but the fixed active algo has got me goin again.
I just feel like an impostor and am not sufficiently social to pull it off (like I will just sit and not strike up a conversation with anyone all night if left to my own devices and nobody will strike one up with me) so not really any more. I just don’t fit. I like the grungy older gay bar vibe but there’s still no point if I’m just going to sit at the bar and drink and maybe look at my phone. Plus at this point I don’t even really relate to gay guys that much. I related to closeted gay guys a lot more when I was younger, cause I was one sorta almost.
I’ll go with queer friends, very occasionally. The person from my friend group who wanted to go the most in the past was a cishet woman though, which always made me slightly uncomfy/feel even more like an imposter (showing up with 2 of my straightest friends, a het couple… not good), so going with friends is also a minefield.
I like the shithole bar vibe for some reason and keep going to these fucking shitty dives full of old alcoholics, but I never learn anything, I just get drunk and the social paralysis never really goes away. I’ll talk to someone if they approach me, but it usually just peters out or is the absolute worst most horrible convo from said old alcoholics. Once in a very long while I think someone is hitting on me but I usually don’t realize until after.
And that’s all re: bars for the most part. clubs are twice as foreign. I missed that part of socialization in HS/college and I don’t think I’ll ever get it.
I would probably do better at bars if I was out and proud and didn’t hate myself and my body. But idk what that would even look like for me and my social anxiety would probably still make it suck.
its so useful!
then you end up on a laptop without a good middle click :(
select some text and then just go middle click in a text box!
wait til you learn linux has 2 clipboards
And the sad counterpart: experiencing the frustration of wayland clipboard behavior
I’ve been taking my vitamins pretty consistently and some other daily habits I guess. And I’m finally turning the tide on cleaning I think. I was in quite the funk for a while there and my place, while rarely tidy, is worse than usual, but I’ve started cleaning it today. Oh and I’ve been biking instead of driving. Having a working car is a fuck, its so easy to justify or procrastinate my way into driving everywhere.
like cool people have said, we run on Linux and normies run on MS or IOS or whatever.
This is me rn but with a bash script to load my podcasts onto my mp3 player
I shaved for the first time in ages and now my face is cold 
I don’t think thats where everyone/most people are coming from with the prime directive stuff. But I agree its harmful. there’s not like, heavily pushing people or like trying to convince them, that’s normal to avoid, but being like ‘imma not even mention transness or talk about my own experience or make any suggestions to help this obvious egg’ which is just ass
could be actual tea
but also it seems like every place is fuckin different
mood
my city is improving pretty significantly but everything is sooooooo slow to get put in. new line? idk probably like 10 years. BRT? ehhhh lets call it 4 years, maybe some more delays if the highway dept decides they want to rebuild the road too
but I haven’t seen an hourly frequency in a while now that I live closer in at least
yeah I was on the edge of buying those the other week ngl. thanks for the rec, very few reviews sounded like they were actually being used for humans so I backed out.
It’s kinda degrading to have to buy animal syringes, but less so than asking a pharmacist in person. I think everything is degrading these days though. I didn’t buy a safety razor that I wanted the other day because the entire shaving aisle was locked in cabinets and it was late and I just couldn’t bring myself to go pester an employee at closing time, it just is so demoralizing. I don’t know what I’ll do when fucking groceries start getting locked behind glass, perish I guess
I already had dinner (many hours ago at this point though), and badly need to sleep
Chat, please convince me not to go get <slop fast food restaurant>
solely because I wasn’t a huge fan of 2011 hunter x hunter I think you should try dungeon meshi
IME the smaller cities are much more surrounded by outright fash in the pnw. But the cities themselves are probably okay. so idk maybe spokane?
yeah same lol
But like, fem gremlin? Femlin, if you will? that sounds pretty sick. I don’t want the high expectations of being super feminine frankly, but as long as I can still be kinda grungy and scrunkly I think femme might be good
why does my whole body feel like a seeping wound
I keep trying to clean/dry out my belly button and 5 mins later its wet in there again, where is this coming from
ooh we finally found a way to do surveys that isn’t