MyEyeballStings [none/use name]

Actually, I should take this more seriously. So, I have an extremely deeply-rooted fear, and tbh also kind of resentment, over the experience of being persistently socially ostracized & isolated for all of my childhood, and much of my adulthood. This is itself basically a function of me being autistic, and having been placed in special education from a very young age. I’ve always understood myself to be distinct from, and in a sense, less capable than everybody else around me.

Today, this kind of manifests in a way as an obsession over trying to find romantic, and sexual successes (of which I have of course had none). This is because of a number of factors, but probably one of the biggest ones is age. I’m in my early/mid-thirties now, and it’s difficult to do anything except hang around discord chat groups (which I also don’t really do, because I’m terminally asocial), because pretty much anyone in my age-range IRL is going to be involved with their own families.

I have nieces, and a sister that I hang out with a lot, and I do like them; and apparently I am their favorite uncle, but also I don’t really like being relegated to having basically the same social role as the robot from Big Hero Six.

It’s all very frustrating.

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Uhh, alright, so my brain is broken, apparently. What do I do?

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