Researchers are ecstatic at the prospect that they may have finally discovered the region of space from which Ozzy Osbourne came to this planet.

Removed by mod

Guy running for VP: “JD Vance may have sex with couches, dolphins, and even more disturbing things the electorate will learn about soon enough, but JD Vance will be damned if JD Vance ever uses the devil’s pronouns.”

In his defense, Elon both owns the platform and is a giant manbaby throwing a neverending tantrum at even the thought of rules applying to him.

Even worse, the entire concept of clocking in and out for ~8-hour shifts comes from factory jobs during the Industrial Revolution. Missing time meant that your station on the line wasn’t being manned and was holding up production. While obviously some fields still operate like that, many modern professions are task-oriented and being forced to be physically present for an entire shift is entirely unnecessary.

Boeing: Amtrak of the Skies. We’ll probably get you there safely.

“Our company is invested in the dynamic strategy of using people to solve problems. Person Intelligence or PI, as we call it. We know our strategy is out of favor now, but given that it has worked consistently throughout all of human history, we are hopeful for the future.”

And both guards fell asleep simultaneously. And no inmate had successfully committed suicide in that facility in over 20 years. And…

US Lawmakers aren’t scrambling to do anything but take bribes and engage in insider trading.

Trump is even worse than Biden on Gaza. I get trying to push Biden to do better, but let’s all keep the truth in mind. The actual truth, not the click bait bullshit horse race covered by the media.

Makes perfect sense. Bill Gates puts Chinese 5G into third party printer ink. It’s used to activate the spikes in vaccinations.

Workers work because they have to. Owners own and work if they want to.

You could start by paying your workers their fair value.

Silly us. We made a few wrong turns, and now here we are in Ukraine. I guess this place is as good as any to test all these shiny new weapons.

they will be deployed shortly afterwards by the police.

“You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of racism in the new drones, but what I said was: Give me all the racism you have.”

Time to add “a new schism in the Catholic Church” to the end of days bingo card.

Bring lemons and make it a lemonparty.

That’s a fun new Xitter game. What caused the latest bullshit - its failing infrastructure/imminent collapse or its new owner’s drug-addled brain? Given the list of users it affected, I’m guessing it’s the drugs.

The horn plays the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Cases like these illustrate why the death penalty is such a terrible idea. The process itself is imperfect, and in some places filled with bad actors looking to close cases quickly while maximizing sentences.