• 0 Posts
  • 10 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 9th, 2023

help-circle







  • Oof, sorry you’re having such a rough time right now. I wouldn’t feel too bad about the woman you had to leave behind though. Because relationships are a two-way street and she has to put some effort in too. If she didn’t fight for you or try to figure out a way to make it work for you both, then she wasn’t prioritizing the relationship anyway. As an example, my partner and I lived at least 1000 miles from anyone we knew and we had no support system. When my partner, who was the breadwinner at the time, lost her job, we together found a new solution. Yes, it meant picking up and moving across the country again in less than a year, but the alternative was homelessness. Never once was our relationship on the line, even if our housing was. There’s someone out there who thinks being apart from you is the worst life choice ever, so don’t miss her by being sad about the ones who aren’t her.


  • The only way to not repeat this is to learn from it. I’m a big proponent of “attract, don’t chase.” When you are the absolute best version of yourself, happily doing your own thing and living your best life, people find that attractive. Try to volunteer or go to hobby events/shops, you’re going to find people who like what you like and try to find a relationship that is a positive feedback loop. I think you should want to do everything in your power to make your partner happy because their happiness brings you joy and your partner should feel the same about you. Boost each other until you both reach your goals.



  • Obviously, you feel bad/guilty because you’re a good person who cares deeply. Knowing that, would you have treated her the way she treated you? I don’t think so. Ergo, she’s probably a bad person because you know you’re good and you don’t act that way.

    Just because you were together for a while doesn’t mean you have any responsibility for her present situation, especially because she’s so abusive. If the roles were reversed, a woman wouldn’t feel guilty about running as far away as possible and you shouldn’t either. Abuse is abuse and it sucks to suck. She’s gotta deal with the consequences of her actions.


  • I think you should take some time to self-reflect and think about what you really want for yourself in the future. Is this a guy you want to be your boyfriend or still just a fling? If he’s just a fling, you feel no emotional connection, and just want to have sex, move on and get someone who actually wants sex with you. If this is someone who you want to pursue in a serious relationship, ask yourself if this is a person who genuinely makes you feel happy and supported?

    Personally, I don’t think he wants to be involved and isn’t worth your time and effort. Life is really short and there’s billions of people out there to meet, millions in your appropriate dating pool, thousands interested in dating, and likely hundreds where you are. So don’t get caught up in some romantic idea of pursuit and star-crossed lovers.