• 5 Posts
  • 7 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: July 16th, 2023
  • TudbuT@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPtoTrans@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Severe anxiety & coming outEnglish
    2·
    2 months ago

    I’m doing okay in general but not great right now. Tests really are free for me and I can pretty much do as many as I want. But I exist with transphobic parents so that’s not happening for a year or more.

    I’ve come out in some places now and lost some of the fear. But now I have a different problem, namely that my voice still sucks because it turns out doing all voice training quietly in my room to avoid being heard, means I can only do the new voice quietly -_-. So now I have to somehow translate that to a more usable voice and make it less dependent on confidence (right now it collapses whenever I’m not confident enough).

  • TudbuT@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPtoTrans@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Severe anxiety & coming outEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    It’s insane that your parents test your blood for estrogen, that feels abusive and like something that should be illegal.

    its a part of the blood test that i do for vitamin d regularly so i dont get a severe deficiency. T and E were both tested last time on request of my parents to know if maybe something was wrong with my hormone levels to cause my transness. turned out to be false of course. no idea if it will be tested again but i consider it a 50/50 chance.

    EDIT: I’m not a lawyer, but searching around I found that at your age you can probably legally reject the blood test, see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mature_minor_doctrine

    this is only a thing in the US and i am in germany also it would be super suspicious to my parents

  • TudbuT@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPtoTrans@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Severe anxiety & coming outEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    (i read all of this but do not have any comments except for on one part)

    I am also doing monotherapy as that is the only option I have. I do DIY-HRT and none of the sellers i have access to sell anything but estradiol anyway, so this is an easy choice.

    FYI, I will be going on Estradiol Enanthate. I’m still not 100% sure when it comes to how I’ll be dosing things, and I cannot start yet because I have a parent-controlled blood test scheduled for a month from now (the last one before I turn 18). I do already have all the injection supplies and the estradiol itself though!

  • TudbuT@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPtoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Severe anxiety & coming out
    0·
    3 months ago

    Dysphoria is not what makes someone transgender!

    Yeah I know. I’ve already cut off ties with that friend mostly.

    CW: rest of this message is infused with my brain worms around passing

    Many transfem people do not pass. […] You don’t owe it to anyone to look a certain way before you can be yourself.

    I’d actually rather live with dysphoria forever and simply be dissociated and self-hating the whole time. Not because I don’t think I’d be a “real woman”, but because if I can’t for the most part look like a cis woman, I’m STILL going to have the dysphoria, but then I’m also going to have to deal with people telling me I’m an abomination - it’d only make things worse because it would just add to the existing pain.

    Then again there is basically no way for HRT to make me look worse, and I already look so fem that if I was actually trying I could probably already pass.