UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her]

Listen I try to be open-minded about this stuff but I’m worried that they’re gonna give my kids the wrong ideas, you know?

Just agree to never talk about it again and go on as usual

I didn’t feel like it because I wasn’t 100% sure. Also my face already has somewhat feminine features, my biggest hurdle to passing were my height and my voice and HRT wouldn’t have helped with either of those.

I enjoyed presenting female while in full makeup and nice clothes, but idk how much of that was gender euphoria and how much it was just feeling pretty regardless of gender. I felt dysphoric when someone called me by my female name while I wasn’t dressed up (i never started HRT so my body was and is still 100% male).

If I could snap a finger and turn into a 5’8" cis girl I’d probably be closer to how I really feel, but the way I look at it is that I’m like 60-65% on the female side on the gender binary (idk if that’s the right terminology but you get the idea). Presenting female as a 6’3" AMAB person is just a ton of effort and since detransitioning I have 100% fewer people stare at me on the bus and yell at me in public.

I don’t regret it, I learned a lot about myself and gained new perspectives. My past self would probably need to experience it themselves, if only to quiet down the “What if…?” thoughts.

I lived as a transwoman from ~2020-2022 and then detransitioned out of my own volition. My family and friends were supportive, it just didn’t feel quite right. Living as a trans woman felt the same as a cis man, except it took a lot more effort to present female than male (especially since I’m quite tall), so I went back to being a cishet guy.

But I’d be lying if I said I’m 100% confident in my gender identity. I don’t think I’ll ever transition again, but maybe I’ll try drag at some point.

hate the government, not the people btw

I have done one (1) push-up every day this week. I am very out of shape and I figured if I try to do any more, I’ll end up doing nothing at all. So I try to do one proper one each day for now, just so that I’m doing anything at all.