vibinya

Ya… honestly I wouldn’t put much stock in Internet insults- easier said than done, I know. I think it’s really easy to get lost in our screens and forget the real world is incredibly different. It’s really frustrating how our brains sort through things- you’ll get a lot of positive feedback, and then one or two negative comments and that’s what our brains decide to focus on. I think it’s fairly normal for a lot of people, but I think it’s worth working on training your brain to untangle those types of thoughts. I recommend looking into Cognitive Distortions!

I think it’s really about going at your own pace and being patient with yourself! I’m still trying to find my happy middle as well.

For hair, find a local non-chain salon, and let them take care of you. They’ll work with you, recommend the right products for your hair type and the style you’d like to go for. I gave up trying to style mine and instead just super take care of it. I personally wash it once or twice a week with a fairly expensive Japanese shampoo/conditioner that my stylist recommended (I’ve been seeing her for over 11 years and we’re great friends… She’s been such a huge help through my transition). I also started to decorate it with cute bows and hair bands- I really recommend this! I’ve even started making my own!

Makeup is another story - I’ve been struggling, but honestly really care more about having healthy skin. Definitely start building a skincare routine so your skin starts to naturally glow. I also recommend a BB cream if foundation doesn’t feel right for you (not a fan of foundation tbh). From there you can find a tinted chapstick if you want some color for your lips. As much as I’d love to give you pointers on eye makeup - this is my biggest struggle area right now, but we’re just getting started so practice and patience!

It can be really disheartening seeing other women just radiate beauty, but remember that they’ve had many many years of practice and definitely struggled when they first started 🩷

Started going to a small local coffee shop a little over two years ago, and I’ll never go back to the giant chains. The people working are always happy, greet regulars by name, always go out of their way to interact or talk with me- usually remember something we talked about before, comp my orders every now and then, host little events, etc. It’s not just them either - I always have a way better experience going to non-chain coffee places. Oh, and the coffee is always waay better and priced better.

I think your feelings on this are super valid. Each step can be a bit scary, especially when you aren’t sure how people in your life are going to react. Pronouns and gender identity are your choice 🩷 remember that it’s not about passing or having certain checkboxes checked, it’s about how you feel and what you’re working on/towards! One aspect of transitioning is finding people who respect who you are and who you want to become without gatekeeping or forcing their personal versions of gender on you. Women can have beards, body hair, deep voices, balding, huge muscles, etc - it’s fine if you don’t want these things for yourself, but none of these are a reason to think you aren’t valid as a woman.

If you can, I super encourage you to try to find more queer places and people to interact with. You’ll find there’s a huge spectrum of gender presentation and identity - it really helped me feel confident and comfortable with my choices and feelings.

I guess it depends how your emotions resolve. If you don’t want to be seen as a boy/man, then you can ask them to stop calling you that without elaborating further. I personally would not have friends or continue to stay in a space where people didn’t respect my identity, pronouns, or whatever label I choose for myself.

For my transition I’m not looking to be seen as or called a boy - period, so being called a femboy would cause me the same pangs as being misgendered.

I think the thing I would think about is if you’re okay with people deciding who you are. Sure, there’s some affirmation as they see you as feminine, but once you open up to these people about your goals, will they respect you or continue to call you something that doesn’t align with your transition.

I wonder which of these is the cheapest and which is the most expensive.

When I signed up they had a very easy process which allowed migration of playlists. I believe it was a 3rd party utility/website which you could actually use to migrate playlists from and to any of the music streaming services.

I absolutely love Tidal as well. Was a long time Spotify subscriber, but their UI/UX decisions, especially for their desktop client, finally frustrated me enough to switch. Had almost no issues moving my playlists over, have a shuffle which actually shuffles, still have daily recommendation playlists, and my favorite part -patch notes; I know what’s happening and why. They actually listen to user feedback and make updates based on it.

Started working for my current company as tech support. No degree, in a homeless shelter, just good with tech and helping people. It bothered me not understanding how things I supported worked, so I started to teach myself to code and offer ideas for potential fixes when submitting tickets. Ended up being approached and hired by the head of development who allowed me to continue learning on my own. I’ve been with them for 12 years now, and in the first few years hobbled together the product/feature which became their flagship. Find people who are eager and excited to learn and they’ll thrive.

That’s been an issue for me as well. DDG is my default search engine, but the majority of the time I have to add the !g as it struggles with context. It’ll find plenty of results matching the words I type in, but not quite understand that how those words are arranged matter.

I believe you can edit .doc(x) files using Google Docs.

It’s odd where people draw the line. It’s pretty much the same as previous generations fawning over radio personalities and all the Oprah’s and such. To me, modern influences are equivalent to radio/TV hosts - personalities which are paid to promote and market products and lifestyles. Just because there’s now more and more specific niches for them, doesn’t make them any less valuable in the people’s lives who enjoy them and their content.

My favorite has been locally hosting Automatic1111’s UI. The setup process was super easy and you can get great checkpoints and models on Civitai. This gives me complete control over the models and the generation process. I think it’s an expectation thing as well. Learning how to write the correct prompt, adjust the right settings for the loaded checkpoint, and running enough iterations to get what you’re looking for can take a bit of patience and time. It may be worth learning how the AI actually ‘draws’ things to adjust how you’re interacting with it and writing prompts. There’s actually A LOT of control you gain by locally hosting - controlNet, LORA, checkpoint merging, etc. Definitely look up guides on prompt writing and learn about weights, order, and how negative prompts actually influence generation.

I personally connect with people easier through games. For me, it removes the feeling that I have to entertain someone through some branching conversation. There’s less pressure knowing we’re focusing on the same task or goal and conversations feel more natural based on what we’re doing or observing. It’s also helpful to see how people approach obstacles and how they handle/display their emotions.

This is great. Article explains the method and sample size. This could be a great tool, and I hope it can be applied to any age. Many people who are on the spectrum and are high functioning can go most of their lives without a diagnosis while struggling to understand why the world feels so different to them.

It kind of comes down to the overall craftsmanship of the jeans. I started paying more attention to the seams, stitching, and where things lined up on my body. I had good luck purchasing from smaller brands which appeared to value the ‘legacy’ of denim- not something I really think about, but I was happy they did.

Look for raw denim! The real stuff- it’ll feel thicker at first and will take breaking in. You’ll be paying 100+ most likely, but they’ll last you a lifetime. Brands are really dependent on the style/cut of jeans you’re looking for. Not up to date on brands anymore since I haven’t had to buy a new pair in over ten years. My favorite brand was/is Rogue Territory, but I’m not sure if they are available in the EU.

It’s different in some ways. Most of my friends are gay and they have specific apps for specific things. It seems very straightforward to find people to hook up with, but that’s different than dating and looking for a relationship. Just like most people, many have various issues most likely stemming from society being lame about sexuality and such. They’ll find someone who seems entirely put together and then get slammed with issues relating to abandonment, insecurities about their masculinity, or crazy jealousy… So pretty much normal stuff.