I liked nights as well! I used to work 11-7 for some shifts, and while it was still a little lonely to go to work while people were heading to bed, I still had the whole day to do things if needed. It got me into the bad habit of just staying up for 24 hours if I wanted to do things in the evening though
Ooh I didn’t think about it like that - but then again I was a bit of a homebody even in my 20’s lol
Definitely depends on your social circle then: my group of friends were mostly 9-5 and did stuff together in the evening, so it felt like I was always missing out.
I consider second shift to be worse - I worked 3-11 for awhile and its just depressing. You wake up and can do things, but you’re just waiting to go to work. When you get out, it’s pretty late and most people are going to bed.
9-5 allows me to have my relaxation time at the end of the day, along with everyone else. Any other shift feels lonely, and like you’re off-sync from the rest of society.
100% with the people saying to get into a hobby to meet people. You’re guaranteed to connect at some level. Gaming as a hobby actually makes meeting people pretty easy, if you don’t mind starting out as long distance relationships
I met my partner of 8 years on World of Warcraft!
You’re very welcome! I think the fact that you’re able to reflect so deeply on this is a really good thing.
Forgive my assumptions, but from what it looks like from the outside, you’ve come a long way down a pretty bumpy road. Lots of people get swept up in these feelings and regret it, but your self awareness is admirable. Sending good vibes and best wishes, whatever path you take
I think you nailed it on the head yourself - that all the things you’re feeling are for a “squandered past, not a realistic future.”
I’ve struggled with this situation as well, and those feelings never last. The other person feels like an “escape” from your current partner because they are a mystery. I love my SO, but I know all the dirty minutiae of living together for 7 years. He tends to fart loudly in the toilet when he thinks I’m asleep still, and sometimes lets his toenails get too long.
The little details like that don’t give your imagination much leeway, where a prospective life with another person is full of possibilities.
Don’t let this new person be an excuse to throw away your current relationship. It throwing such a huge wrench in your system is indicative of something being amiss in your marriage. Maybe there’s some distance, or needs not being met.
Crushes on other people happen in long term relationships, and are normal, but the response in a healthy relationship is being able to recognize that the lovesickness is fleeting. The bond with the new person isn’t fate: it’s just filling a hole at the moment.
Edit: a good test is this - if the other person had never come back into your life, would you still be happier if you left your wife? If the answer is yes, then perhaps you need to rethink your relationship, but do it alone. Don’t jump to a new one right away without sorting out the baggage from the previous one
An oversized poncho cape from the local Goodwill. It was woven in different shades of blue and while I’d never wear it outside, I’ve used it as a wearable blanket at home for a few years now.
I found out it was actually hand made, and costs 300+ USD from the original shop. Bonus points, I feel like a wizard when I wear it
I feel you. I actually liked nights, but the burnout is real. I’d have trouble sleeping during the day, and had a horrible sleep schedule trying to keep up my personal life and still work nights