blight [he/him, null/void]

Oh man, this wasn’t a good one. Drank way too much caffeine and fucked up my sleep as a result. Didn’t manage to leave the house 3-4 days, at least spread out. Did a depression porn binge. Had a shit-ton of anxiety. Executive dysfunction. Got stuck fiddling all night very haphazardly with a useless, irrelevant, stupid and annoying little tech project. Ate shitty luxury food all week because it was on sale and I have no self-control.

I did however manage to do some shopping, and went for walks, 2 proper and 3 short, and did some laundry and vacuuming.

I’m gonna really try to get my thick skull that a slow morning doesn’t necessarily have to mean I can’t try to salvage something of the rest of the day.

This highlighting is quite confusing

• really tired/exhausted every day to the point of falling asleep the dinner table, no clear reason
• walked shorter but walked, except one day where i got stuck binging TV
• ate well until the weekend, when it was very basic sandwiches for both lunch and dinner
• 2 porn binges
• did laundry and put in the wardrobe
• bought groceries
• bought some nice cheap used clothes
• did some rare accidental housework and repairs

we need a synthesis from type 1 and type 2 dialectics

Marilyn

Agatha

Trixie

Deeza

Clarissa

Dorothy

1. eat egg
2. fart
3. …
4. ???
5. profit!

Yeah, it’s very stressful at times. For the most part it’s fine and we get along really well, and I actually manage to not think too much about it then.

It’s just that #2 told me their read was that if anyone could get away with being a man to #1 it’s me. Which is obviously super great and hopeful, but also kind of puts the weighty burden of Redeeming The Men on my shoulders. I would literally be the exception and thus need to be exceptional.

Crushposting:

#2 surprisingly took up the secret agent initiative and found out that #1 both feels safe around me and really likes me, but is still as a rule not interested in men, for very understandable reasons.

What’s even better, that might sound like #2 asked about me directly, but it sounded like they were able to weave it into their conversation so seamlessly that #1 actually brought up my name themselves. So my cover isn’t blown and #1 has no reason to be annoyed.

Crushposting:

We were having a quick lunch with some others, and after a few people left, it was just me, them, and 2 kind of creepy guys, by chance spread out as far as possible around the table. An agonizing minute of awkward silence later, I was just thinking, fuck, they must hate this, 3 guys creeping on them, and didn’t even dare to look at them, to avoid them feeling like the victim of a triple ogle, but then! They moved over to the seat next to me! “Hi!” they said happily, and the other 2 kind of got the hint and we split into 2 conversations and chatted on cheerily. I can’t think of a clearer way they could convey “I trust you” without literally saying it.

They do a little special interest infodumping, I do a little enthusiastic listening, because you guessed it, their interests are things I also find interesting.

I don’t know when you went to grade school, but trans (and hence transphobia) wasn’t invented until 2022 by Kamal sHarrias (PBUH)

yeah, trouble is I want my phone by the bed to listen to stuff to fall asleep. plus when I did it like you, I would just get back into bed immediately afterwards , and I have lingering day-ruining vibes about wake up alarms from that period. much better for me to focus on going to sleep on time…

I don’t want to dox myself, but I read a silly little book with a very vibe, and I cooked a bean stew

• 10% dip in average number of steps
• sleep schedule basically reasonable, trouble actually getting out of bed though
• read a short book!
• organized my room a little
• did laundry
• cooked batch meals
• drank another cup of cheater coffee

My steps average is back up, eating still kind of hasty, sleep is improved by maybe an hour. Drank one average cup of coffee one morning out of curiosity, but otherwise none. Handled the “crush isn’t responding” anxiety relatively well.

who decided that 300 letter long lines would be good for that screenshot should uh, reconsider

the blade that performs DIY bottom surgery on the patriarchy

Keeping up my daily average number of steps. Eating slightly more irregularly and weirdly but eating. Sleep maybe 2 hours messed up. Catching up on housework.

ez

Chaotic week due to personal stuff, but I still walked a lot unintentionally, even increasing my average. I won’t go into detail, but it’s worth celebrating, which also means I have to host a party, which I’ve literally never done.

The classics: TrueAnon, Revolutionary Left Radio, Citations Needed, Blowback, Death Panel, Srsly Wrong, Deprogram, Guys, and also some local ones

As for music, I’d love to geek out, but I’m not going to completely doxx myself.

I could never rawdog, I alternate between music and podcasts depending on the mood. On some rare occasions I forget to put something new on and rawdog for a couple minutes until I realize it.