yeah i feel you. i don’t think this would be better even if i were vegan (i’m not bc i think i would starve due to a number of dietary restrictions /allergies, but i cycle in the vegan food i can)
yeah and i posed both questions just to kind of allow for multiple possibilities because, y’know, i wasn’t really sure what was going on in your head
but otherwise, i dunno if you’re this comfortable with your dad, but if you are, maybe you could have a conversation about it. ask him if he knows about sex work and how workers in the porn industry are treated, ask if he’s considered looking for ethical pornography producers, maybe suggest some (?) LOL
i understand this isn’t a conversation everyone is necessarily comfortable having, but i think, if you can overcome the awkwardness, it’s worth it to kind of reaffirm your dad’s relationship with you and his shared values with you. fwiw i think a lot of people (men?) who are like, strongly feminist would be open to reconsidering this stuff and maybe just don’t necessarily have the tools or haven’t really had the idea to explicitly pursue more ethical porn. some of it is just accessibility, you know? like, everyone knows pornhub, but i can’t name an ethical porn studio offhand
that said, this inspired me to google it (i know, what an idea) and i found a couple of article recommendations as a starting point:
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a36465164/ethical-porn/
https://sexualalpha.com/ethical-porn-sites/
and then, just for full disclosure, some of the things that prevented me from doing that before were:
notably, none of these are really about whether it’s a (morally) good idea or not, it’s a lot about the practicalities, but yknow not necessarily every feminist guy is on this page
i’m not gonna sit here and pretend these are the best reasons or anything, i’m not the best human being to ever live, but i try to do better than the day before, and i listed those reasons out honestly to hopefully help if you decide to have that conversation with… not even just your dad, but anyone
but you know, if you decide not too, obviously that’s totally fine and understandable LOL, i think this was still good to write up and talk about
i had to think on this a little bit, and knowing you’re a woman helped me see where you were coming from, i think
and i think you should reflect on what looking at porn says to you about a person. because there can be a lot of baggage attached and - at least for me, as a guy who likes porn - i’ve already had to come to terms with that stuff. but it’s hard to know if someone else has done that kind of inner reflective work about what most people treat as a throwaway hobby
it’s also kind of like, how comfortable are you with your own sexuality? are you asexual? how did your folks treat sex and sexuality growing up?
i don’t have any answers for you, and you certainly don’t need to answer any of these questions in a public forum on the internet. but hopefully they help you understand and resolve what’s troubling you
fwiw, my dad is super careless about it LMAO i found his porn bookmarks by accident as a kid. and nowadays his steam notifies me when he hops on hentai games 💀💀💀 but yknow what, good for him, hope he’s having a good time
not necessarily for you but for other trans people reading - transition isn’t going to make you cis but it can help a lot of things. at the very least, hormones can potentially provide a lot of mental benefits, even if you won’t get the exact body you want at the end of the day
and, y’know, if they don’t, you can always stop taking them
lmaoooo believe it or not, some people around here ALREADY had that idea. which is INSANE when people are paying >$100 a month in HOA fees 😭 which i discovered by talking to someone i (mistakenly) believed was getting paid to pick up trash in the area
it’s shit like that that makes me want to organize people
this is interesting to me. i recently met, and subsequently turned down, a local communist party. after some interrogation, i realized that, much like organizing folks in my workplace, i wanted the work i did with them to directly benefit the people of my community. they were very much about recruitment (“waiting for the next event where capitalism radicalizes a bunch of people”) and learning theory (… which i respect to a certain extent), with a distinct emphasis on doing things other than community building / mutual aid / etc. they’re also mentioned as one of the not-great groups (RCA)
i guess i’d like to know which groups are doing that important community building / solidarity building / organization education outreach? there’s a mutual aid group in my area i’d like to become involved with at some point, at least
to a certain extent, i also want to know if my criteria for judging a group is good (or, if you agree, i suppose) - i’ve always thought that the worth of a group (here, meaning, a group meant to change things in the world for the better) is measured in the lives they’ve changed. but i can’t prove that, obviously, it’s just what i’ve arrived at based on my experience of the world, and i’m curious what others think
a friend of mine discovered the tip to add “before:2025” (or, the current year+1) to your yt search to improve it. i have no clue why that does anything but it reverts it to pre-enshittified functionality
it’s crazy how those comments are aging like milk precisely because google/web search is going to shit (in addition to being dickhead comments ofc)
just weird to look back and think about how we thought it would never change
yeah as someone on a keto diet and already allergic to soy and coconut… i need this LMAO i’m gonna die if i lose dairy and meat 😭
hate speech (of which nazi speech is a subset of) isn’t political either. it definitely should be banned because it demonstrably causes people to get hurt
insane stance to be advocating that nazis should have free speech in 2024
oh that’s crazy, i saw that syntax (from my client) and went, no way that’s correct (bc of the empty square brackets). but it being alt text makes it make sense, thanks!
looks like my alt text is breaking it for me tho (it’s removed in the above embedding)
https://beehaw.org/pictrs/image/717d18ed-533a-461b-975f-e2e1dc26b720.webp
i don’t know how to embed pictures but hopefully this works ^^; i’ve been seeing this one around lately and i think it’s very funny
really good article
make sure you do your online illegal activity AND RESEARCH ABOUT THOSE ACTIVITIES behind a VPN
if you need to communicate with other people about illegal activity, do it behind an encrypted service like Signal
illegal != immoral
stay safe out there folks
thanks for sharing this information with us, i think it’s important to discuss this stuff on the fediverse
i notice that beehaw doesn’t have a similar clause in its TOS, as far as i can tell. without the expectation of you answering this question, i’m wondering what the difference is between the two such that cohost has such a clause and beehaw doesn’t. maybe it’s because one is run by an individual and one is run by a small company?
i did a search on cohost itself to see if anyone else talked about this and found this quite extensive thread: https://twitter.com/rahaeli/status/1588769277053739010
so based on what you’ve said and what’s in that thread, i’m gonna update my post with some qualifications about cohost. thanks for piqing my interest in the TOS
is there a way they could protect themselves (“still legally be able to function”) without that clause?
it’s not federated or open, but cohost is a tumblr-alternative run by a group of queer devs who promise not to sell the company or your data. i don’t blame you if you don’t buy into it, but i do like the platform
edit: based on what /u/FaceDeer@kbin.social has mentioned about the TOS, as well as further elaboration i found in a thread about it (https://twitter.com/rahaeli/status/1588769277053739010), i don’t think i can responsibly advocate for cohost, even as a closed/private alternative to tumblr
so sick of article titles that say shit like “strike averted” and not “university correctly meets demand for reasonable wage increase” or “money stops getting funneled to profits so that employees can afford nice things”
anonette, see if you can get into a good neurofeedback clinic. they can help with these sorts of deeply-ingrained trauma responses
not that we should be equivocating meth and adhd meds in the adhd community 😭
but otherwise yea, very good point being made. i didn’t realize that was a criteria