Idk i dont even have a play partner right now (trust is hard )

Feel this

i think that sentence made it make (more) sense ^^

I’m glad it did, hopefully my imagination isn’t misleading about it lol

I have a fantasy about uh nonconsentual stuff that is strictly act in because it would be unsafe and just not enjoyable if it was acted out. Im also just still grappling with that fantasy existing in my head, the shame around it, and all of that.

Oh yeah. I’ve definitely had thoughts like that before. Though personally I guess I didn’t think of it as a fantasy but more of an unwanted intrusive thought. Maybe it’s the same thing in this case.

The example makes sense. I can see how things that are desirable in the moment can be regrettable later.

My body is not stable and can get fucked up in a “oh we should go to the hospital” kind of a way a bit easier than most people, so i can get real paranoid about people binding near my joints, or whipping me near cartilidge or connective tissues.

Oh wow that’s rough. Sorry if this is prying but is that some sort of HSD? My partner has EDS and their body has similar problems with joint and connective tissues

Like, how was the parafin? I have a pretty high tolerance for burning, especially if its combined with other sensation, but i was thinking to start with soy cause of anxiety around biting off more than I can chew.

Paraffin didn’t really bother me (pre-HRT so thicker skin) but if it is too hot, it’s also possible to alter the temperature of the wax just by adjusting the drip height. I didn’t have a problem from even close up though. I’ve never used soy so I can’t comment on how that feels but I’ve read that it’s oily? Paraffin clean up is a pain already, I can’t imagine the mess from soy candles.

Also, can you just use any candle?

Nope! Don’t use beeswax, it gets too hot and it can burn or blister.

Orgasm denial

Yeah I have a hard time with reaching orgasm too. Less so when solo but with others I usually don’t more often than I do. I don’t think I would get frustrated with someone for that personally but that’s easy to say from someone with no experience I guess

Pet play

I feel like any kink can be deconstructed and if someone don’t mesh with parts of the kink archetype, those parts can be negotiated out. It sounds like you like a lot about it so maybe it’s just coming up with your own version to work with

brat taming

This is all coming from my imagination. But I feel if I take on the role as a brat, I’d be testing the domme, to see if they’re worthy. If they can’t control me, then what business do they have domming me? I guess this turns the dynamic into a battle of wills instead of command/obey.

maybe just an act-in fantasy, not an act-out fantasy

What does this mean? Like inside your head vs actually doing it?

Being made pretty and beautiful with rope.

That’s a good way of putting it.

I love the marks and bruises and everything that comes along with it, the reminders when I try to sit down the next day…

I want to try wax, starting with soy and moving to parafin if/when im ready ^^

Waxplay is one of the only kinks I’ve actually done, and I did parafin. I didn’t think it was too bad but this was also before I transitioned so my skin might be more sensitive now

i enjoy having people to talk to about this stuff ^^

Yeah it’s fun! Thanks for sharing your own thoughts

My villain arc where I put on a tight leather costume and call myself hornybun

Compete over who holds the chain while both of you have a collar on, biting and scratching, anything goes.

Looks like I gotta update my list

The commune has decided! nemmybun will be exiled for being too vanilla!

Collars seem to be a universal recc.

Yeah I probably accidently oversold the :awooga: factor by making a tease. Even at my best I still have trouble with vulnerability but I’m working on it. Maybe one day I’ll have a full breakthrough

Disclaimer: My actual experience is limited and while I’ve read some stuff, I am no expert. I apologize ahead of time if I say anything problematic. Do point it out if you see something so I can learn.

Starting with dom stuff:

• Orgasm denial (:volcel-kamala:). I like that there’s a required intimacy for this. I need to have a deep understanding and awareness of a partner’s body and expressions to successful interrupt an orgasm. When I do, I get to watch the light fade from their eyes and frustration set in knowing their pleasure is in my hands. Then I can gently remind them who is in control and that they will not know completion except through me. Then after a cool-off period, and if they’ve been good and begged enough then they can be obliged. And that can be finished off with a “good [affirming noun]” and a gentle caress and watch them melt.
• Pet play is big in trans spaces and when I learned about it when I was first transitioning, I thought it would be fun to be a pet. Honestly there’s like a lot of propaganda towards that way so it’s easy to get sucked in. These days I feel like I’d be more comfortable tugging the chain instead. Not 100% sure what to do with a pet if I had one though since I’ve never been on either side before.
• An obedient sub sounds great but I think I’d like the take on challenge of brat taming. Going through the work of making them submit feels like it’s more earned. More dominant. And I feel like the connection is stronger by breaking someone over just having someone passively submit.
• This next one is definitely fully in the realm of fantasy, but I guess this is kinda like an extreme version of brat taming. Fighting, like actually dangerous and deadly fighting with weapons and then fucking afterwards. I guess that’s just klingon sex. Anyway I’ve had makeup sex before and that was intense so this has to be like… really fucking intense right??

And on the subby side:

• Also regulated to forever fantasy: being bound and threatened with a knife. Being cut or stabbed too. Like I don’t actually want to be injured and I don’t think I could trust anyone enough for any kind of edge play, even if there was no cutting and it was just threatening. Really though. Why do I want this even in the safety of fantasy??
• Even though I said I’d prefer the chain, I wouldn’t mind trying the collar just to see what it’s like…
• Ropes/shibari. Honestly a lot of the sub stuff I’m interested in is hard for me to seek due out to the amount of trust required. But it’s still hot to think about. Being bound and helpless. Being tied up in an artistic way and being reduced to an art object to be admired and consumed. Maybe paired with…
• Sensory deprivation. Remove as many senses as possible except the sense of touch. Every little brush of a feather, every drop of warm wax, every wet trail left by ice, every breath on my neck, every soft kiss on my skin, all of it amplified due to my hyperfocus being completely directed towards the sensation of touch.