Idk, I’ve lived my life as cishet and plan on marrying my current partner, I’ve accepted that I’m actually closer to pan than I am to het but it feels like stolen valor to try to claim that, especially as a .
It feels like it might be more effective to my queer comrades for me to defend them as a cishet ally than risk feeding ammo otherwise.
This is a subject I am terribly ill-informed on and would love any input from queer comrades.
If you’re pan, you’re pan. Doesn’t matter if your current relationship is straight-presenting. Doesn’t matter if you get married and stay with her your whole life. I knew I was pan but refused to say anything about it to anyone for a very long time because I was in an ostensibly hetero relationship. It just felt worse and worse until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. There are MANY queer people who know and aren’t out to anyone. I wouldn’t be out if not for all the lovely people on here. Bi/pan erasure is real and damaging, don’t erase yourself because you don’t want to rock the boat. Does your partner know?
Yea, she knows, she’s pan herself (actually prefers women generally, haha, funny how we worked out). I think a large part of my struggle is growing up in an incredibly homophobic environment and constantly being called “gay” for having any effeminate traits, despite being a cis-male, and my personal failure to fully confront that internalized homophobia. It’s something I’m trying to work on.
Idk, I’ve lived my life as cishet and plan on marrying my current partner, I’ve accepted that I’m actually closer to pan than I am to het but it feels like stolen valor to try to claim that, especially as a
.
It feels like it might be more effective to my queer comrades for me to defend them as a cishet ally than risk feeding ammo otherwise.
This is a subject I am terribly ill-informed on and would love any input from queer comrades.
If you’re pan, you’re pan. Doesn’t matter if your current relationship is straight-presenting. Doesn’t matter if you get married and stay with her your whole life. I knew I was pan but refused to say anything about it to anyone for a very long time because I was in an ostensibly hetero relationship. It just felt worse and worse until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. There are MANY queer people who know and aren’t out to anyone. I wouldn’t be out if not for all the lovely people on here. Bi/pan erasure is real and damaging, don’t erase yourself because you don’t want to rock the boat. Does your partner know?
Yea, she knows, she’s pan herself (actually prefers women generally, haha, funny how we worked out). I think a large part of my struggle is growing up in an incredibly homophobic environment and constantly being called “gay” for having any effeminate traits, despite being a cis-male, and my personal failure to fully confront that internalized homophobia. It’s something I’m trying to work on.
Thanks for the perspective!