I actually don’t know but I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I don’t feel comfortable with masc gender norms. at the same time i feel kind of comfortable with my name/pronouns but I’m going to try they/them pronouns on hexbear. That is all. Have a great day comrades

  • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    29 days ago

    Beyond superficial/aesthetic elements, I don’t think any progressive (who includes gender issues in their progressiveness) is really comfortable with masc gender norms, because they are overtly antisocial and more loudly so than fem gender norms (though the two are inextricably linked). I have an associate who used to think he was NB because he was correctly disgusted with masculinity and sought out being sort of an anti-man as a result (to be clear, he agrees with this characterization). He got as far as spending a couple of months on HRT until, for reasons that tbh I don’t think he ever really outlined, realized that his problem was with the whole social order of gender and there isn’t really escaping it while living in this society without destroying it. He self-identifies as male again now because that’s his sex and he doesn’t view it as productive in his case to “present” in really almost any deliberate way.

    This isn’t me flatly naysaying, mind you, or naysaying at all. I’ve known at least two people pre-transition who are now enbies (while one is a libertarian shitbag, the other is cool afaik) along with enough post-transition enbies that I would need to think a bit to make sure I have all of them. I think 5? And every single one is cool and, as far as I know, quite happy with their identity.

    Why am I saying anything? In part because I’m positive that if I was socialized differently, I would identify as NB for reasons similar to the first person I mentioned. It’s arguable that the reason I never got into it was because of some queerphobia when I was younger, though I think the right answer for myself is also the one my associate took. Anyway, I’m not saying it’s your case, I don’t think anyone should presume what your case is, I just wanted to offer another perspective since it reminded me of some of my personal experiences.