I just need to share some meandering thoughts, please bear with me.
The way I think and feel emotions is strange to me. I’ve spent so much time in my own head conceptualizing things I can’t always process my own thoughts.
I feel like there’s this veil over all my perception that I can just barely catch a sense is there. I especially get it when listening to music with certain ethereal sounds. Sleep is another avenue where I try to press on this boundary, but I’ve never felt like I’ve broken through. I have a vague spiritual sense about it and I feel like realizing my trans identity was the biggest turn towards understanding it. I’m also neurodivergent with ADHD and a good bit of trauma, when I started my stimulant meds it made all these things more manageable, but there’s still this uncomfortable disquiet always on my mind. Anyone else feel this way or something akin to it?
I have ptsd and recognise this a lot. This is also exactly why I see my therapist because she often directs me the right ways with her questions which gives me some clarity and allows me to process my feelings and thoughts a bit more.